How to Best Support your fighter before their fight

Hello friends and family,

As a coach, I wanted to take a few minutes to give you some guidance on how to best support your friend in the weeks leading up to fight night. I have been in this sport now for 26 years and coached at the lowest and highest levels. The one thing I consistently see at all levels is a need for this email. A way for your fighter to ask for your support in a better way. Because a fighter can't get anywhere without the help of his coaches, family, friends and fans. This isn’t just about cheering them on — it’s about helping them get through one of the toughest challenges a person can put themselves through, both physically and mentally. When you watch people in the UFC on TV you think “Man! Those guys are awesome and have no fear!” Well I'm here to tell you I have seen it first hand and usually that's a load of crap. If you don't believe me go to YouTube and type in “Donald Cerrone described his walk out.” actually here is the link. 

https://youtu.be/SrDUxogE1Dc?si=KoabprCrWAIpvV1J

It is 100% accurate for most fighters at all levels.  See that fear is natural and as coaches we aren't trying to eliminate that we want it to fuel our training and preparation. If a fighter comes in without fear, usually that person is not preparing properly and is risking serious injury. Fear is merely a test. If you don't have that fear of failure in your life sometimes I encourage you to push harder. You can do so much more. Now let's talk about your fighter and see what you can do to get them to the best mental space to succeed from your perspective. 

What camp is really like
Fight camp is no joke. For 8–10 weeks, your fighter has been training harder than most people can imagine — long hours in the gym, sparring, drilling, conditioning, plus recovering enough to do it all over again the next day. Add in a weight cut, which basically means eating less than you want while working harder than you should, and you’ve got a recipe for sore muscles, tired brains, and a fighter who may be a little “hangry” at times. If they snap or seem short with you, please don’t take it personally — it’s just the grind of camp mixed with too few calories.

What not to say
We know you love your fighter, but please resist sending messages like, “You’re going to kick his ass!” or “You’re going to f ** him up!”* Unless you’ve stepped into the cage yourself, those words don’t mean much — and in fact, they can actually add pressure. The number one thing fighters get nervous about isn’t the fight itself, but the fear of letting friends and family down. So every time they get another “you better win” type of text, it feels like another weight on their shoulders. Truly be there for them if they win great but don't praise them too much. Realize the going from winning your fight in front of all those people you feel like a god. Then it's back to your job on Monday and that can create real depression. I'm serious. This is a big one. The high will wear off and when it does. Depression can set in. When they win and don't move up. Depression can set in. You asking why they aren’t at a higher level yet doesn't help. It makes them feel worse. If they lose. Don't drop them as a friend or make fun of them. I can't tell you the number of really good fighters that would lose one and lose a big number of fake friends because they lost. Nothing weeds out the fake friends faster than a loss. Losing is gonna happen in this sport if your fighter is truly in a challenging environment like they should be. So don't let them get too high on themselves and don't let them get too low. Realize it's a process and win or lose they are better humans for putting their heart into something and learning who they are from it. 

What to say instead
The best messages are short, light, and supportive. Think: “Love you. Go out there and have fun.” Send those about a week out from the fight, then please give them some space the last 2–3 days. And on fight day itself, keep it fun and non-fight related — jokes, lighthearted stuff, or even silence is better than fight talk. If you have questions about tickets, seats, shirts, or anything else, please direct them to [Designated Contact’s Name], not your fighter.

Why fights matter
At all levels, every fight is a learning experience, and our job as coaches is to put fighters in situations that help them grow. That means not every fight is chosen to be an easy win — sometimes your fighter will face someone with a better skillset in a certain area, and that’s by design. We’re focused on development and building a foundation for when they eventually move into the highest level of the sport. You might not always agree with the matchups, but trust that we’re making decisions based on what’s best for the fighter long-term. All those fights are to build up the fight IQ and learn that's the goal. Sure it would be great if we won every time but if we did it would just mean we didn't push ourselves enough. 

Other ways to show support
Your support doesn’t just come from words. Buying a fighter’s T-shirt, helping them find sponsors, or contributing in small ways makes a huge difference. Many fighters can’t hold full-time jobs because of the demands of training, so this type of support helps them chase their dream. Practical support goes a long way. Offering to watch kids, help with pets, or just making life easier in small ways can mean the world to them. And please — during weight cut weeks— don’t wave pizza or donuts in front of their face as a joke. It’s not funny. Trust me, they’ve already imagined eating every food commercial they’ve seen in the last month. Also if they refuse certain foods please don’t take it personally. They are already super super stressed about the weight cut and our coaches have given them the tools they need to cut the weight in a healthy and manageable way. 

Conducting yourself online

Our gym is also a cornerstone of the MMA community here in the Midwest, and how we represent ourselves matters. That’s why we ask that you don’t talk trash about our opponent or their team. Respecting the other side not only reflects well on your fighter, but it also reduces the pressure they feel going into the cage.

Your love matters most
The most important thing you can do is remind your fighter that you love them no matter what happens. They’re not defined by winning or losing, but by the courage it takes to step into that cage at all. Very few people ever do it. Your support, love, and understanding makes the journey lighter and helps them perform at their best.

Thank you for being there for [Fighter’s Name] in a way that truly helps. I promise — they’ll feel your support every step of the way, even if you don’t send a text on fight day.

With appreciation,
Coach Bruce

📝 Support Checklist for Friends & Family

 ✅ Send short, light, supportive messages a week before (not 1–2 days before or the day of).
✅ Avoid “you better win” or “kick their ass” texts.
✅ On fight day — if you have to talk to them keep it light, funny, or silent . No fight talk.
✅ Don’t make ticket/seat/merch requests to the fighter — go through their contact person.
✅ Respect the opponent & their team — no trash talk.
✅ Show love with actions: buy a T-shirt, share their promo, help with kids/pets, or sponsor them.
✅ Remember: weight cuts = hangry. Don’t take short tempers personally, and please don’t wave junk food as a joke.
✅ Above all: remind them they’re loved win or lose.

✉️ Examples of Positive Messages to Send

• “Proud of you no matter what happens.”

• “Love you. Go out there and have fun.”

• “I can’t wait to watch you do what you love.”

• “Your hard work inspires me.”

• “Win or lose, I’ll be cheering loudly.”

• “Just another day of you showing what you are becoming inside and outside the gym.”

• “We’ve got your back always.”

• “Enjoy the moment — you’ve earned it.”

• “We believe in you, but more than that, we love you.”

• “No pressure — you’re already a champion to us.”